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JOKES NO 82
Santa Singh at KBC
Santa Singh has answered 12 out of the 15 questions correct and has used all his lifelines except for “50-50″ and “Phone a Friend”.
Santa Singh is playing the 13 th Question now which is for 25 Lacs. Let’s see what happens next…
Amitabh Bachchan: Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke liye, yeh raha aapke saamne aapki Computer Screen par…
Santa Singh gets Tense…
Amitabh Bachchan : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan ? Your options are…
A) Amitabh Bachchan B) Dharmendra C) Amjad Khan(Gabbar) D) Sanjeev kumar
Amitabh Bachchan : Toh Santa Singh Jee kya Jawaab hai aapka? [He’s quite sure that Santa will opt for option A]
But Santa is surprisingly still confused…
Amitabh Bachchan : Aapke paas abhi bhi do life line baaki hai… 50-50 and phone a friend. Agar aap chahe to unhe use kar sakte hain. Wo aap hi ke liye banaayi gayee hai.
Santa Singh : I think it is A, but I’m not sure.
Amitabh Bachchan : Not sure, Hmmm… Aap kya karna chahenge?
Santa Singh : I would like to use 50-50…
Amitabh Bachchan : Ok Computer Jee, Kripya 2 galat javab mita deejiye…
Computer deletes two names, and leaves the following options:
B) Dharmendra C) Amjad Khan(Gabbar)
Now Amitabh Bachchan gets confused and worriedly thinks if the Computer is actually right or has got some bug!. Santa Singh gets all the more Confused after the 50-50 Lifeline…
Santa Singh : I would like to use my last life line too - Phone A Friend…
Amitabh Bachchan : Aap kisse baat karna chahenge??
Santa Singh : Main aapki Misej [Mrs.] Jaya Bachan Ji ko phone karna chahoonga…
Amitabh Bachchan Faints !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan (Thanks to AirTel )
Santa Singh : “Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?”
receiving reply from JAYA Santa faints..
GUESS WHY????????? ??
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Jaya Bachchan ask’s him ” What are the options?”
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JOKES NO 81
One day a dog was running behind a Santa… But Santa was laughing.
Banta asked, “Why you are so happy?
He said… “Ah Ah Ah….I have an Airtel mobile with me…But Still Hutch network is following me..”
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JOKES NO 80
Sardar SITTING ON THE TOP OF MOUNTAIN AND STUDYING..WHEN A PERSON ASKED WHAT HE WAS DOING..HE REPLIED ..Oye!!Higher studies Yaar…!!!
SARDAR standing on platform suddenly jumps on railway track.
Man says sardarji mar jaoge.
Sardar : Marega to tu. Suna nahi train platform par aa rahi hai..
An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope. A sardar was observing him.Suddenly a star falls, Sardar shouts: Kya nishana lagaya Boss…
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JOKES NO 79
A Sardar Prays Daily for 2 hours”Hey VaheGuru meri Lottery lagade.After 11 yrs VaheGuru angrily appears & says-Abe Sardar 1 bar ticket to le…
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JOKES NO 78
Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?
Biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.
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JOKES NO 77
Sardar 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha…
Baap ne puchha “kya kar rahe ho?”
Sardar : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
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JOKES NO 76
Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?
Sardar: Simple, Stop imagining.
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JOKES NO 75
Ek sardar apne father k samne cigrate pi rahay the
Logon ne kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho?
Sardar bole: Wo mera father hai koi petrol pump to nahi na
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JOKES NO 74
Teacher: Why are you late, Sardar?
Sardar: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
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JOKES NO 73
Santa: Main nikala gadi le k o nadi k kinare, 1 mendak mila uthe maine pucha oye ki sardar pagal hote hai?
Mendak jump in water
Santa: “Oye isme sosaide karne vali konsi baat thi”
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JOKES NO 72
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Sardar: You told me to do it without using tables.
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JOKES NO 71
While in a drug store
Sardar :I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk : Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Sardar : Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!!
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JOKES NO 70
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”
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JOKES NO 60
Sardar always study in front of a mirror because of 3 reasons:
1. It helps saving revision time.
2. He can keep a watch on himself.
3. He likes combined studies.
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JOKES NO 59
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar, “Any great man born in this village?”
Sardar: No sir, only small Babies!!!
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JOKES NO 58
Sardar: In my dreams rats play football every night
Doctor: Take this tablet you will be ok.
Sardar: Can I take tomorrow? Tonight is final match.
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JOKES NO 57
A two seater plane crashed at a graveyard at Punjab.
Locals found 500 dead bodies and still digging 4 more…
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JOKES NO 56
Sardar: What is my exam number…???
Teacher: Its 438625.
Sardar: I paid Rs.1000 for exam, please give me a fancy number!!!
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JOKES NO 55
Sardar petrol pump gaya,wahan usne ek board pe likha dekha, “Don’t use mobile here”.
Sardarji ne mobile nikala or har dost ko phone kar ke kaha, “Don’t call me now”.
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JOKES NO 54
- What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra sheet?
- He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.
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JOKES NO 53
Sardarji ( to doctor ) : Doctor, I have a problem.
Doctor : What’s your problem?
Sardarji : I keep forgetting things.
Doctor : Since when do you have this problem?
Sardarji : What problem?
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JOKES NO 52
- Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth?
- Because his doctor advised him “Today’s dinner should be light”
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JOKES NO 51
- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
- They think their picture is being taken.
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JOKES NO 50
- How do you measure Sardarji’s intelligence?
- Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
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JOKES NO 49
A Sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge loss.
- Do U know what the business was in?
- He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.
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JOKES NO 48
- What do smart Sardars and UFOs have in common?
- You always hear about them but you never see them.
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JOKES NO 47
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: “Can I take this train to Ludhiana?”
“No,” answers the railway man.
“Can I?” asks Gani Singh.
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JOKES NO 46
- What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer?
- Just-beer Singh (’T’ silent!).
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JOKES NO 45
- Why did 18 Sardarjis go to a movie?
- Because below 18 was not allowed.
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JOKES NO 44
An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope. Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls.
Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, “Kya nishana lagaya hai!”
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JOKES NO 43
Sardar watching star tv bech mein advertise aaya,”aap dekh rahe hein star tv”.
Sardar jee bole,”oye! in ko kese paat chala ke mein star tv dekh raha hon?” Hoooon
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JOKES NO 42
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Iss mein suicide karne waali kya baat thi?
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JOKES NO 41
Santa: Yaar tum nay apni biwi ko talaq kyun di?
Banta : Yaar wo badi character less thi, shaadi muj say ki hai aur bacha bagwaan say mangti hai.
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JOKES NO 40
Band master : Santa ji, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane gaana hain, uss hisab se rate lagega?
Santa : 2-3 gaa kar shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat generator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai.
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JOKES NO 39
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
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JOKES NO 38
Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: ‘Free Delivery’.
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JOKES NO 37
Aadmin : Aacha sardarji ek baat bataiye agar aapko garam hua toh aap kya karoge.
Saradar ji : Oye! wery simple to main koolar ke samne baidhunga.
Aadmin : Agar fir bhi garam hua to.
Saradar ji : Oye! tab koolar chaloo karunga.
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JOKES NO 36
A Sardar was working 1st time in a garment shop.
A customer girl asked: Underwear dikhana plz.
Sardar thora sharmakar: G aaj pehna nahi ha.
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JOKES NO 35
Why couldn’t the Sardar write the number “eleven”?
He didn’t know which “one” came first…
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JOKES NO 34
Why do Sardars have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they’re on the train they can tell if they’re going to work or coming home.
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JOKES NO 33
Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They’re there for those who don’t drink.
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JOKES NO 32
- Did you hear about the Sardar who asked his friends to give him all of their burnt out light bulbs?
- He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom
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JOKES NO 31
Lawyer to Sardar : Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke…
Sardar : Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein bulaiya.Aab fir gita pe haath.
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JOKES NO 30
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing?
He said, “I am seeing how I look while sleeping.”
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JOKES NO 29
Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints
like “Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai.”
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JOKES NO 28
Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
“You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here,” complained the pub-owner.
So the two Sardars exchanged their sandwiches.
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JOKES NO 27
Ek Sardar road se gujar raha tha achank usne jhuk kar road se kuchh uthaya aur achank chillaya…
Kamine log sandaas bhi aise karte hai jaise samosa pada ho.
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JOKES NO 26
Lady to inspector Santa : My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn`t come back yet!
Santa : Why don`t U cook something else.
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JOKES NO 25
Ek sardar exam dene gaya to apnay saath plumber ko saath le kar gaya.
Guess karo kyun le kar gaya?
- Array yaar simple hai uss ko yeh news mili thi k paper leak ho gaya.
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JOKES NO 24
Sardar is driving a jeep in a jungle…
Tourist : How do we escape if lion comes now?
Sardar : Give right indicator and turn left.
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JOKES NO 23
- How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
- He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
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JOKES NO 22
Can you lend me 2000 Rs? I need it.
Please help me out, I know you have it,
I will return it .
A Sardar asks to ATM machine.
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JOKES NO 21
A man asked Sardarji, why Manmohan Singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied “Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM”.
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JOKES NO 20
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .
Local Sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more…
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JOKES NO 19
Sardar at an art gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer : I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
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JOKES NO 18
Postman : I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.
Sardar : Why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it.
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JOKES NO 17
Sardar told his servant : Go and water the plants.
Servant : It’s already raining.
Sardar : So what? Take an umbrella and go.
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JOKES NO 16
A Teacher lecturing on population -
In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up, we must find & stop her!
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JOKES NO 15
Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road….why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office
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JOKES NO 14
Teacher to Santa : Es line ki english banao,
usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa : He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan…
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JOKES NO 13
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman : Good evening, how do u do?
Santa : Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
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JOKES NO 12
A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour and slapped the man and said,
he not my friend
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JOKES NO 11
Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife these days.
Guess why?
Because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women.
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JOKES NO 10
Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Santa : Not really, but I don’t see any other way 2 marry Ur daughter!
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JOKES NO 9
Ek Sardar road se gujar raha tha achank usne jhuk kar road se kuchh uthaya aur achank chillaya…
Kamine log sandaas bhi aise karte hai jaise samosa pada ho.
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JOKES NO 8
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked : Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar : I’m writing to my 6 yr old son, he can’t read very fast.
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JOKES NO 7
Sardar to girlfriend : Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana kar rahe hai.
Girlfriend : Tumhare ghar mein kaun kaun hai?
Sardar : 1 biwi aur 3 bacche…
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JOKES NO 6
A sardarji doctor falls in love with a nurse.He writes a love letter to the nurse
- I Love U sister….
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JOKES NO 5
Santa said something in Banta’s ear, and Banta died.
Take a wild guess,
what did he say…?
!!!…”Dhishkiyaon”…!!!
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JOKES NO 4
Santa, “I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer, “I beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror.”
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JOKES NO 3
“Darling,” said Banta to his new bride, Preeto, “Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my small income?”
“Of course, dearest, no trouble,” she replied. “But what will you live on?”
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JOKES NO 2
Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
Sardar : Hoga, Jarur hoga, 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai….
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JOKES NO 1
A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken and waiter comes with the order.
Sardar: Murgi ki taange kithe hai?
Waiter: Woh langra tha.
Sardar: Dil?
Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee.
Sardar: Dimaag?
Waiter: Murga sardar tha…