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JOKES NO 15
While browsing through the marriage and honeymoon photographs of the parents, the Beta asks his Papa:
Beta : “Papa, Papa, Jub aap aur mama honeymoon pe gaye thai, tab main kahan tha?”
Baap : “Beta, jaate samay tum Papa ke paas tha, aate samay tum Mama ke paas thai.”
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JOKES NO 14
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit; she instructed her son - to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.
After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy’s phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from site, immediately she sighted him, she gave him a very hot slap, while the man was trying to ask why?
She repeated the slap, people from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of this.
The man asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called,
Junior said “the number u are trying to call is not reachable“.
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JOKES NO 13
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
“I pray for a new bicycle!”
“I pray for a new Nintendo!”
“I pray for a new VCR!”
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.“
To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!“
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JOKES NO 12
Teacher : ‘A’ for?
Student : Apple !!!
Teacher : Jor se bolo…
Student : JAI MATA DI
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JOKES NO 11
Child : Mom isbar hum sare patake is shop se lenge.
Mom : lekin beta ye toh girls hostel hai.
Child : Papa to kehte hai ki sari phuljadiya yahi raheti hai.
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JOKES NO 10
Teacher asks children, what do you wish to do in future?
Ram : I want to be a pilot.
Vinod : I want to be a doctor.
Deepa : I want to be a good mother.
Ravi : I want to help Deepa.
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JOKES NO 9
A teacher once asks all students to write an essay on the topic “A Poor Family”. One student gets the lowest marks for writing that essay . The student happens to be the richest girl in the entire class and her essay goes on as…
She writes :
Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi, husband aur wife dono gareeb they, doo bachey they, woh bhi bahut gareeb they!!!
Ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they, ghar ka maali, driver aur guard bhi bahut gareeb they, ghar ke 4 kuttey bhi gareeb they, 2 din sey chicken nahi khaaya tha, 3 mercedeez car thi,
unki bahut time se servicing nahi hui thi, ghar ka A.C bhi theek nahi chalta tha, ghar mein 1 saal sey paint nahi hua tha family ko holiday ke liye foreign country gaye bhi 6 mahiney ho gaye they, ghar ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they, all in all, bahut he gareeb family thi!!!!!
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JOKES NO 8
Teacher : Pappu, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
Pappu : No, teacher, it’s the same dog… we both wrote on!!!
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JOKES NO 7
Judge: U r crossing d limits..
Lawyer: ‘Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare u call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lord, I said kaun sa law aisa kehta hai….
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JOKES NO 6
Two school girls were talking in school break.
Girl 1: You seem worried today. what’s the matter?
Girl 2: Ya! As my mom’s gonna marry again soon.
Girl 1: What’s that bothering you, new relationship or new father?
Girl 2: New father! hes a famous man. I wonder how would he treat me?
Girl 1: Who’s he?
Girl 2: Mr. Baig! The famous film maker.
Girl 1: Don’t you worry then at all! Hes a nice chap.
Girl 2: How can you say that?
Girl 1: He was my father last month!
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JOKES NO 5
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.
The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.
“A million dollars”, he answered, “because I wish to donate it to M.I.T.”
The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.
]He asked for two million dollars. “I wish to give a million to my family, he explained,
“and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”
The last applicant was our Indian politician (Lallu Prasad Yadav).
When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”
“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.
The Indian Politician replied, $1 million is for you, I’ll keep $1
million,and we’ll give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars”
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JOKES NO 4
Bhakt : Meri shadi Aishwarya se kara do.
Bhagwan : Uski ek saree 1 lac ki hai, tu kharcha kar payega.
Bhakt : Koi upay bhagvan
Bhagvan : Mallika Sherawat.
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JOKES NO 3
Basanti : Bhag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.
Dhanno : Tujhe apni padi hai meri soch jiske peeche GABBAR ke 10 ghode pade hai.
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JOKES NO 2
Socho agar doctor film banate to title kya hota?
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1. Kabhi khansi kabhi jukam
2. kaho naa bukhar hai
3. TB no 1
4. Kal patient ho na ho
5. Hum blood de chuke sanam
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JOKES NO 1
Robert: America mein WAAR ho gaya boss!!!
Ajit: U.S mein kyaa rakhaa hai Bloody Fool!!! India mein roz “WAAR” hota hai.
Bolo kaise???
Robert: Nahin maaloom Boss!!!
Ajit: Arre ulloo!!! SOMWAAR, MANGALWAAR, BUDHWAAR…